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Deepen Your Relationships: Listen Actively
What blocks us and ways to hone your skill with loved ones and colleagues
“You’re not listening to me, mum!”.
I’m having communication issues with my daughter. She’s 11. Pre-teen. And we often have arguments. About almost everything.
It’s frustrating and annoying. I don’t feel listened to by her either.
I’ve realised a few reasons why this is happening. I focus on my own frustration. And let my assumptions and conditioning get in the way of truly listening to my daughter.
You see sometimes she doesn’t do what she says she’ll do. Like doing the dishes. Putting in her eye drops. Or cleaning her room.
Because she’s done this many times, I assume the same will happen each time afterwards.
But that blocks my mind. I unfairly blame her for things she hasn’t done — or don’t see the things she has done. It doesn’t give her a fair opportunity to follow through. We clash.
The barriers to good communication
This situation reminds me that active listening can create more meaningful relationships. But it’s so damn hard to do well.
